tashaak

so its been close to a thousand years since i last posted anything.;\ oops.
cheer leading starts tomorrow and i am actually ready for it, cause like i haven't talked to
any of the girls all summer, i love josh, but i have spent everyday with him. and i kind
of regret that cause the summers almost over and i haven't hung out with anyone... sad i know.
boys get the best of me sometimes..i need to learn when to say no..
sooo school starts in like three weeks. honestly i'm ready for thatjust cause it gives me something to do. i am sick of being bored, all i do is eat and sit in front of a fan cause it's too fucking hott to function in my house. no lie.
i'm really bored though so i think i'm gonna go get ready..
byee errrbody:*

so today has been the most unsuccessful day of the whole summer i seriously did nothing. at all. i got yelled at a whole lot but thats about it. i'm pretty sure i hate when guys exspect me to do whatever they want me to, like today, i can't hangout with anyone until i clean my room, but i have been in a bad fucking mood all day, and the last thing on earth i wanted to do was clean.
and josh freaked out cause i couldn't hangout. well i hangout with him EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE.
do you think he could go 24 hours without me, haha i don't think so. so now i am pretty sure he's mad at me, but i wouldn't know CAUSE MY FUCKING PHONE HAS BEEN BROKEN FOR THREE FUCKING WEEKS. and my mom won't activate it.
FUCKING GREAT RIGHT?! not.
thennnnnnnnnnnnnn
i love how our entire like "age group" in oswego, is full of potheads. like is it cool.?
does it make you something special? i just don't see whats so great about it. i personally would like to live past 40. and not die of emphazema. i don't know.
uuuuughh
today has been such a bad day.
i just want my phone.
to work.
and be activated.
god.

i love josh<3:*

so harborfest was pretty good. we danced. ahah and josh did. and might i add that he did
amazing:] hahah and yesterday was our four month and it is my longest yet! wooo and his so were setting records here:] hahah i am so happy. and i got a shirt that says SAVE THE BOOBIES!<3 haha and i am going to zumbah today!:] yayayayay good day friends<3


bye:*<3

so. i am talking to my half sister and brother kent and kara.
its so weird.
me and josh are fighting. again.
nothing new.
ugh.

and the sad part is, i know for me anyways.
that stuff that you just listed was the best year or two of everyones life.
everything's changed since you left.:[

i dont know what to believe.
and for the first time i have trust issues?..
oh boy. life is interesting. i need to hangout with my girls.
we need a venting session. me. julie. meg. and everyone else thats in our
little clan of friends. or maybe cheerleading team bonding..? i dont know
i need a break from josh. i hang out with him everyday. every night. hes going
to camp the 6-11 and you better believe i am hanging out with my ladies.
i miss them. i am on josh overload.
i love him, but i can't trust him?
every second hes not talking to me i wonder if hes talking to bri?
i don't think thats healthy. i guess i'm attached. he means a lot to me.
more than any guy ever, and i will completely heart broken if i loose him.
i honestly do not know what i will or would do.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh help meee!

kay i'm done.
byeee:[

dear boys,

i am going to vent.
i love how IT IS NOT OKAY FOR ME TO TALK TO MY EX, BUT ITS PERFECTLY FUCKING FINE FOR YOU TO TALK AND CALL AND TEXT YOUR EX. not only once for weeks, and not tell me keep it from me until i accidentally saw your inbox, then you make up some stupid excuse to why you're talking to her. NOT COOL. strike one against josh. i can't believe you're doing this, but okay this is exactly what bri did to you. and now you want her back.
five fucking words.

pick which one you want.








good.bye.

1. A picture of you in your room /dorm room


2. Drunk picture of you
i dont drink enough to have one of those:p

3. A picture of you on your birthday


4. The youngest picture you can find on computer

i dont have any of thoseeee.:p

5. A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera


6. A picture you might have edited to make yourself more attractive


7. A picture of you truly being yourself


8. The most recent picture of you


9. A ridiculous picture of you


10. A picture of you showing off a new haircut


11. A picture of a time in your life that is over but you wish it wasn't


12. A picture of a time in your life that's over, that you couldn't be more thankful it is


13. A picture of when you were anything BUT happy


14. A picture of a time you were nothing but happy


15. A picture when you were a different person than you are now


16. A picture with someone you love


17. A picture of how you'd like to spend everyday


18. A time when everything was changing


19. A picture that makes your heart hurt.


20. A picture that makes your heart smile


21. A picture of one of the best days of your life


22. A picture of your past


23. A picture of your present


24. A picture of your future



25. pictures you just couldn't leave out











27. Picture of just you

sooooooo, this weekend has been pretty bad.
i had the chorus concert yesterday, which was okay minus the fact that i had a sinus infection and it hurt like hell to sing.
then i went to tina's and we went to steves, which no offence. was a joke. there was like fourteen of us there and they had one bottle. i was in a pretty good mood about being there. but as soon as josh got there with eric, he had to act all cool and completely complain about everything. when last weekend he was there with just me and he was fine. thats why i dont hangout with him and eric when they are together cause he acts different. i mean i act different around my friends but its not a bad different, i dont completely change the way i talk to people and everything.
so anyways, we left there at like 12:30 which i felt bad for cause i thought it was rude. and we were supposed to stay till like 5. oh well josh had to leave and bring the car home. so i went to tinas. we made sandwiches and watched a movie untill we both passed out.
then today my parent went out to go shopping so i was home for a good 3 hours. and i was like you should come over. and he was like well how long do we have and i was like well atttt leassstt two hours. and hes like no thats not long enough, and i was like well we dnt have to do anything we can just hang cause i miss him and he was in a bad mood when i was with him last night. and hes like no i have to go to lunch with sully and eric. and i was like oh okay, well i will just hangout with you later.
and he was like well i have to work. and i was like oh okay so today is out of the question to hangout then. and hes like well we can after, and i was like josh you get out at 10. i cant hangout that late. my mom wont let me do that.
and he got all pissed. i was like seriously we would have had all day, with the house to ourselfs. but no he didnt want to come.
it annoys me how he can complain about not seeing me and about dance taking up my life but lately it has been, i have to work, i have lax, i have to hang with eric.
its not cool.
so yet again i am left home all day. all alone.
:[
its gay.
i'm done complaining.
byee.

i am sick of being sick.
i am sick of having failing grades because of being sick.
i am sick of having my mom not believe me when i really don't feel good.
i am sick of not knowing what's wrong with my stomach.
i hate this.
i wish i could get a stomach transplant.
now.

yeah so apparently i am a pig now? i didnt feel good at all yesterday
and i was like out of it in school, and everyones like ohh shes a pigg shes
gonna die. ha actually i'm a human, and i am sick with a common cold.
but thankkkssss:D
no really. i got potential prom shoes today. but i dont know.
and i need my nails done.
and i want my hair done.
ha YAY.
love you people
BYE

so to put this in simple terms, look at julie's entry. and just
put it for me. cause it was amazing! :] i had soo much funnn.
minus my legs like falling off. haha so i sat out of the whole pharell
ordeal:p hahah but it was major fun, andddd an amazing one month<3
i had so much fun.
AHHH.
and i didnt go to school,
i slept. all day:]
amen.<3

i would like to go to like greece, i think that's be the coolest.





















oh and p.s.
i hate living in this house.

its saturday, why do breaks go by so fast but normal weeks drag on?
i hate that. but anyways. i went dress shopping yesterday and well the one i saw in the window
of this shop in rochester only was carried in a fucking double zero! what thhe fuck! i was like are people here really that tiny? like seriously. but once i saw it up close i didnt really like it so oh well. i have one i like thats on davidsbridal.com but i have a feeling i am gonna go there and try it on and then they will be like no you cant get it cause ha someone already has it in your school:p i hate those friggen things. its really not that big of a deal id someone else has your dress. it just needs to look better on you:p hah.
so this problem has arised. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO JEALOUS?!
"yeah we should" and that sparks a fight? like seriously.?
i was like okayyyy whatever. but not really.
i need a dresssssss. and there is something in my eye. and everything is blurry.!
its mad annoying
okayyy nowww.
so i have to clean my room or else tasha can't so anything the rest of the week, sooo
i will talk to yalllll later.:]
byyyyyyee<3

dear tina,
your birthday party was soooo much fun:]
and i love you<3
happy birthday best frieend<333

there are some things, that i just dont need to know.
blahh.
my stomach hurts really bad.
and i want to sleeep.

so lifes been good. minus the fact that i have to read a shit load of pages for tomorrow.
me and josh are good:] which is really good. he met riley and my momma. and i went to his house
yesterday before battle to meet his mom and step dad. they are really nice, and his mom seems
like someone who i can get used too:P shes crazy like moi:] woo. but yeah, we went to battle
which was weird. a little. just some of the bands were odd. like the guy with the painted face.
or brian and how he sucks;] ha. oh well
i am really bored and now have to go to an after god party for my sisters confirmation.
blah.
goodbye.<3




and congrats cody!!:D

i <3 my boy muchoo grandeee.














yay!

good day.<3








p.s.
happy birthday gramma.
i love and miss you so much.<3
11.15.08<3